Top Ten Things This Broadcast Teacher is Tired of Hearing (With Commentary)
10. THEM: “I can’t be at the shoot tomorrow night. We have a club game.” ME: “I’m sorry you have a voluntary athletic activity with an non-school organization that is going to negatively impact your grade. But have fun.”
9. THEM: “Whoever had the camera last totally screwed up the iris.” ME: “Wow, so someone else is responsible for your blown-out video, which you could have corrected in about four seconds? That’s rough. Manual settings suck.”
8. THEM: “Our mic didn’t work, so we didn’t get the interview.” ME: “So we have about ten mics to choose from. Maybe you should have taken a couple of minutes to test the mic before driving 30 minutes to the interview you now have to re-do.”
7. THEM: “Mr. So and So won’t let me miss the last half of math class to work on my story. He’s a jerk.” ME: So the teacher of the class you are getting a solid C- in thinks you might need to stay in his class for the full period? Even if you ask nicely to prioritize your broadcast class over his core math class? Color me shocked. And thanks for making him hate me.”
6. THEM: “We didn’t want to get in anyone’s way.” ME: “So glad you only got medium and wide shots, and kept at a safe distance, because tight shots are so hard to get. So is an “A” in this class if you keep shooting wide and medium.”
5. THEM: “I can’t find the SD card.” ME: “Get out of my office and don't come back.”
4. THEM: “Can we put music in the background?” ME: “Natural sound is the noise of life. We value nat sound. I have taught you nat sound since you came into my class three years ago. But sure, if you want to put music over the sounds of the parade, by all means go for it. And yes, this is sarcasm. Look it up. It’s a broadcast teacher’s best friend, thanks to students like you.”
3. THEM: “Can I have a pass to go cash my check/get some food/fetch my practice gear?” ME: “So glad you think my class, and your TV deadlines, are less important than those errands. On your way back, drop by the counseling center and enroll in wood shop for next semester.”
2. THEM: “We needed shots of motorcycles so we got some from the Internet.” ME: “Well what I really appreciate is your effort to turn a video story into a slide show. Let’s just make HTV a newspaper and forget moving images and sound. And also, yeah, just grab any random image from the web, because the person who shot it won’t mind.”
1A. THEM: “We can’t think of a story. We need a story.” ME: “A monthly show like ours is mentally challenging. You have to come up with a topic every four weeks. Wow. Hey, aren’t you glad we don’t do a weekly show? That would really be a struggle. Here, let me hand you a topic since I’m 40 years older than you, and certainly more tapped into the teen experience in the year 2016 than you apparently are.”
1B: THEM: "What do you mean no panning or to always use a tripod? When did we cover that?" ME: "I should have been a farmer."
